Sex It Up…

Don’t be boring…. If you’re bored make a change. Here are some tips on how to be sexier:

  • A little mascara and a brow always go a long way.
  • Eye Contact. Interact with your eyes. People will notice your confidence.
  • Use your brain. Sexy is not just an outer appearance trait – we’ve all met a gorgeous person without any education/knowledge. Be able to hold a challenging conversation.
  • Use your emotions… without being overly dramatic.
  • Be witty/Humor Counts. Having a sense of humor is sexy.
  • Treat Yourself. Having chipped nails is the biggest pet peeve of mine (you will literally never catch me with chipped nails unless you live with me, in which case you will smell nail polish remover every three to four days).
  • Get a Blow Out. If you haven’t taught yourself already, there are salons everywhere that specialize in blow outs (hint hint: Dry Bar). Clean hair and a fresh blow out make me feel like a new woman.
  • Need I say more… Never tacky, always elegant.
  • Showing more is NOT sexier. Leave something for the imagination. For example, either show off the puppies (aka your boobs) or your legs. Never both unless it’s in the bedroom.
  • Don’t dress like your box shaped. No matter what size you are – show your bod off – meaning get things tailored. I still struggle with this sometimes.
  • I’ve said it once before and I refuse to repeat my reasoning.
  • Get rid of the insecurities. Even if that means “friends”… Also note to self that life is not a runway and we are not Victoria Secret models.
  • Don’t over pluck those brows. Sperm brows are out. Natural and thick are in (not the uni though – don’t get carried away).
  • Wear Heels. I know they can be a real bitch sometimes but never choose a man over your heels. Heels give you a leg lengthening affect.
  • Be sexual. Use your body language with your man (or a man your interested in). Soft hand touches. You get my purnt.
  • Challenge yourself. Hikes, new workout classes… all of these will build your confidence.
  • Don’t overdue the sweatpants. Change it up every now and then when your home. Cooking in a pair of heels, lingerie, and an apron works like a charm.
  • Nothing over powering. A natural scent will work.
  • Now I know I said we are not VS models but that doesn’t mean you cant use some of their photos for inspiration. (All I meant was do not compare yourself to them).
  • Most people say to wear the color red because it appears to be more attractive to men. I’m not saying this is wrong. I’m just saying…did you see The first episode of The Bachelor this season with Nick?! Six girls wore red and it did nothing for them. I’ve always been sold on a sexy little black dress.
  • Be kind, never phony.
  • A spray tan gets me every time. It gives your skin a healthy glow.
  • Invest in yourself. (Whatever you get out of that, but don’t be afraid to make changes to things you are insecure about just don’t get carried away).
  • Play up your best features!
  • Undo yourself. Salt spray in the hair provides texture. Smudged eyeliner is sexy.
  • Try New Things.
  • Have more sex.

Most importantly: Be Comfortable in Your Own Skin.

Babe-Report

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2017!! Happy New Year!!

Wishing everyone a safe and Happy New Year!! I have a feeling 2017 is going to be an amazing year!

Yes or No????

Lately I have been sooo into Podcasts. I find myself reaching for the remote control less often and gravitating more towards my iPad. When you are living abroad, it becomes difficult to keep up with the news events and, of course, daily celebrity news.

Having a degree in Communications with an Emphasis in Media and Tourism along with a few minors, I’ve decided to put my major to the test. Writing is by far my favorite thing to do, but I feel like you really have to know my personality in order to understand my sarcasm and blog pieces. I never take things in life too seriously. My family has been through some health scares and that has helped me realize that life can be short and it is important to embrace adventure.

Every time I think about radio, I will never forget a producer, I once worked for at ABC Sports, saying “he had a face for radio”, therefore he decided to stay behind the scenes. Hilarious. The line stuck with me.

Considering a Podcast? A girlfriend of mine (crazy how we met and how fast we became such close friends – I literally talk to her everyday and legit get concerned for her life if I haven’t heard from her longer than a day) and I are debating on this whole Podcast idea. We both are extremely outgoing and are VERY opinionated. Sarcastic – duh. We can agree to disagree on certain things but that’s what we enjoy most. We are brutally honest and have respect for each other. You always need a girl friend in your life like this – she wont tell you what you want to hear but what you need to hear.

The debate is up… Should we or shouldn’t we? The topics will be broad. Discussing anything from television shows, celebrities, personalities, every day life struggles, being a mom, not being a mom, dating problems, marriage issues, happily ever after vs reality, living abroad, must go vacations… featuring guests. The list goes on but maybe you are starting to get the idea.

Couple Podcasts I am currently enjoying:

  • Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald      (by far my favorite)
  • Brandi Glanville Unfiltered       (She is so drama and I love her drama)
  • Straight Up with Stassi  (pretty annoying she only talks about herself but I still listen)
  • Serial         (for obvious reasons, Season 1 is the tits)
  • Secrets, Crimes, and Audiotape          (not completely sold on this one yet)
  • Anna Faris is Unqualified                (subscribed but yet to listen to one pod)
  • Bitch Sesh       (hilarious)
  • Embedded       (News Stories revisited/elaborated on)
  • Invisibilia        (Psychology and Human behavior)
  • The Young Turks       (Politics)

The Dirty Truth About… Birth Control

Last month, I (we) made a decision to get off birth control. Truth is, nobody really tells you what happens to your body when you make the drastic decision to get off the pill.

After so many years of inconvenient trips to the pharmacy and prescriptions written from the only other man that gets up in there, besides your husband or for those of you that are Birth Control
single and in an exclusive relationship, you have decided to turn off that 9:55am alarm reminding you to pop that bad boy into your mouth. You think, “What a relief, hey?” no more trying to remember if you took your pill or not.

Let’s just say you are in for a whole new treat while your body is trying to get rid of that little monster you have been on for 9 years.

9 years is a long time!! I mean throwback to the time you turned 18 and had your period for the first time (or when ever you got your period… clearly I was a late bloomer but I blame Pop BCthat on being an athlete). Literally, I can’t even remember what it was like to be irregular anymore. My doctor explained to me the answer to an irregular period, acne, and being
really tiny was —- Birth Control (BC).

Playing on Club soccer teams and a travel team, it only seemed natural that BC would be the best solution while rocking those white Nike shorts on the field. I opted for Ortho Tri Cycline Lo. A low dosage based on my weight. Man O Man, as soon as the pill was in my system I started to grow those boobs I never thought I would have and wanted so badly. I quickly came to the conclusion BC pills were my friends.

Fast forward to 9 years later, and I am going hormone free. It is weird not carrying around a pack of pills and turning off that alarm … weird in a good way. I don’t even know who I am without the pills. My first thought is to Google “what to expect when getting off birth control.” I Google everything. I am the type of person that self diagnoses myself (thank you webMD). To save you some time, you get a bunch of mixed results; both positive and negative but every woman’s body is so different.

For the most part, the first couple weeks were uneventful. Dropped about 7 pounds of water weight (tits are still with me though so that’s a plus) and my libido is like HELLO. I feel like I am thinking clearly now (if that makes any sense). Sounds awesome right?! My period came around the same time as usual and lasted 4 days (no spotting in between, which I heard is extremely common). I thought to myself, “I guess the pill didn’t change my body too much.”

I was wrong about that.

Here I am experiencing my first REAL month of being off the pill. Acne. What a bitch! I have never in my life experienced acne like I am now. Not only is the acne irritating me but also the fact that my eczema is back and in full force. The acne on my chin isn’t the worst of it — It’s the acne and eczema on my back and (believe it or not) my chest… What the Stress BChell is this? I immediately hit up my buddy Google. Go figure, I am not the only woman in this world experiencing this madness. I would like to give you some more positive news, like my personality is fabulous (even though I believe I am always in a good mood on or off the pill — my husband seems to disagree) BUT the negatives have outweighed the positive (for me) so far.

It has been an adjustment but I am working through this stage of my life and I know it can only go up from here. I am interested to discover how my body functions and continues to change now that I am completely off the pill. For now, birth control and I are no longer friends due to all the shit he is putting me through. I’m guessing motherhood will be a whole new blog post once we have children. Stay tuned.

On the plus side, for those of you ladies still on the pill – how cool is it that some insurance companies are no longer making you pay an arm and a leg for birth control because the Affordable Care Act was passed. In the meantime, enjoy your little friend birth control while you are still taking him… when you decide to part ways, you may come to realize the little bitch may not be so loyal after all. In the future, I am looking forward to a birth control for men hitting the market. Good luck ladies!

– The Babe Report

What Women Really Mean….

We have all used the phrase “It’s Fine” from time to time… or fifty times.. but let’s be honest. Men, WE are not fine and if you hear “It’s fine” coming from our mouth, you better stop what your doing and reevaluate.  Yes women are complicated but don’t act like you don’t like it or else why the hell do you keep coming back.  Secretly, you love it.  It could be as simple as us (women) stating exactly what it is that we want you to do but where is the fun in that.  We like to test men.  We like to see what their minds are thinking and truthfully, if they can make the right decision on their own without us having to tell them every gah. damn. time.  It all comes down to what head they are thinking with (yes I said it)… their big head or their little head.  Things can be as simple as pushing your chair in when you have finished with your morning breakfast or making the choice between staying home with the lady or partying it up with your buddies.  For women, common sense.  For men, extremely tough decision.  Well here I am, not telling men what to do but helping them with “what women really mean” (which we find obvious).

 

“We need this” —  “We want this… like now”

“It’s your decision” — “You better make the right choice or else it WILL bite you in the ass”

“Do what you want” — “If you do it, you will pay for it later and don’t even bother to “poke” for sex”

“Go ahead” — “I fucking dare you” (also please read the meaning of “Do what you want”

“Im not upset” — “Im fucking pissed!”

“It’s fine” — it is never fine, fix the problem

“I’m not overreacting” — Even if Aunt Flow is in town (that time of the month)

“Your acting crazy” — Hope the walls aren’t thin because the neighbors are about to hear a WHOLE lot

“I’ll be ready in a minute” — Sit down, and find something distracting (no not your cell phone) but whatever you do do not    linger by the doorway because if I forget something do to “rushing” you won’t hear the end of it

“Does this make me look fat” — possible death trap so be sure to say “never” followed by something sweet

The Sigh — I’ve had enough and clearly I am wasting my time and breath

“We need to talk” — you did something wrong, obviously

“Nothing, forget about it” — you better figure out what you did wrong

“Seriously?” or “What?” — this is your opportunity to rethink what you just said and this time get it right

“Who are you talking to (on your phone)?” — Show us because if not, your hiding something

“Just go!” — “Get your ass back over here”

“Do you think she is pretty?” — Yikes.  This can be a dead end.

“Are you sleeping” — Its pillow talk time and I need your ears not P in the V

“He’s a man” — meaning he takes control and knows how to answer all the above, properly!

oh and never tell your lady to “shhhh” or “calm down” — shit will get real. real fucking crazy.

If your reading this, I hope this helps but lets keep it 100, we will always be one step ahead of you guys so in an argument you will lose!  Thanks for trying.

xx

Babe-Report