My obsession with Vicki Lovine and Girlfriends’ Guides has inspired me to create a writing section of my own. Being a guys’ girl is great (most of us have been there, including myself) and sometimes it is easier because guys tend to have less drama (notice my choice of wording)… but being a girls’ girl can be more relatable (given that we are woman and go through similar experiences).
Most of the advice I am given (when pertaining to girl talk) comes from my mother (of course, she is my best girlfriend) and my girlfriends. I felt it was necessary to share some of the information/guidance to those of you out there that are reading my posts.
This topic of my webpage has brought inspiration to my writing and I look forward to sharing advice my girlfriends and I are given and/or have shared to one another… I also look forward to reading the advice and experiences you are willing to share!
We have all seen the movie He’s Just Not That Into You… they nailed it when it comes to women’s reactions and emotions as we dance around the dating scene. We get together with our girlfriends and gossip about what he said/she said. Adding up all the details and coming up with the conclusion that this man (or woman) you are dating has completely fallen head over heals for you.
I have girlfriends that never been single, I have girlfriends that are single by choice, some that date around, others that want to marry for money, and some that are constantly rejecting men while others find the dating scene a nightmare and can’t keep a man around for a second date. I mean it’s a wide spectrum.
Many women struggle with rejection on a frequent base (or some men just simply lose interest) – there is nothing wrong with this, however if any of these scenarios sound like something you are regularly experiencing… keep reading!
Common Mistakes Women Make Leading to Rejection:
- It takes time but you need to get out there. If you have been rejected a lot then you’ve probably developed a fear of rejection – which can lead to avoiding the dating scene all together. Don’t give up. I listen to many podcasts… one girl specifically made the decision to say “yes” to things as opposed to “no” leading her to some amazing adventures. Let me just say, “Mr.Right” isn’t going to surprisingly knock on your front door and sweep you off your feet.
- Just because you have been rejected, doesn’t mean your undesirable. Let rejection go. If you hold on to the mentality of always being rejected then you will not even be able to give yourself the opportunity to move forward.
- Be positive when it comes to dating. Maybe you were dumped, cheated on, stood up, or told you weren’t good enough but you cannot let this define you. You have to be positive in order to attract positivity.
- You have low self-esteem. Being rejected can create a low self-esteem, HOWEVER maybe you are being rejected because of your low self-esteem. No one wants to date someone that carries around insecurities and people definitely don’t want to hear you complain about them constantly. You have to love yourself before anyone else can love you. Men are drawn to women that are confident (not overly). Learn to love yourself and build your confidence!
- Don’t be a Stage 5 Clinger. One of my girlfriends is absolutely gorgeous and an honest catch, unfortunately she struggles with moving too fast (no not in sac). One date, and she is texting him non-stop… it’s like she falls in love instantly and that alone can make a man panic and run. Try not to come off too needy. Let him reach out to you. Let him want you. The harder you play to get – the harder they will try. And do NOT, I repeat do not, have sex right away. Get to know the person. (When I was younger my father would make me listen to Tom Leykis and told me all men think like him). This for sure taught me how men think (not all men but many). Check out his podcast to get a better idea.
- Coming off too independent. Some women want a man but never give themselves the opportunity to jump into the dating scene because they are too busy with other things (aka work and life). There is nothing wrong with this, but don’t let it interfere with meeting someone… and when you’re on a date, try not bringing up how i.n.d.e.p.e.n.d.e.n.t. you are and not needing a man to make you happy. That gets old real quick. Let him treat you. Shivery is not dead.
- Have an appetite. No one wants to go on dates with another person who doesn’t eat. That can be extremely uncomfortable. Trust me on this. You don’t have to drink (booze that is) but you have to eat.
- Interested in someone who is not interested? Don’t force something. If he is not interested than he is simply not interested. Move along. Don’t let this affect you.
- Maybe he is not over his ex? Maybe he just got out of a relationship and isn’t looking to jump back into another one so quickly… Maybe you should think twice about dating this person! (Oh and ladies if he is married and reaching out – save yourself from a future rejection).
- Know Your Value. Simple as that.
- Don’t come across too masculine. Guys enjoy girls that aren’t afraid to get dirty and play sports BUT don’t take that to another level and start talking like buddies. You can be buds but don’t go overboard or else you will find yourself stuck in the friend zone.
- You can change a man’s wardrobe but you cannot change him. Once you start pushing too hard, he is going to be running for the door leading to rejection. The right guy will come along just be patient.
- Don’t forget to appreciate the little things. Men try (not all men – don’t get it twisted) so when they do something nice for you be grateful. If not, your lack of appreciation can get old.
- Don’t be drama. Avoid drama. Who wants to date someone full of drama?! At some point, you have to take a look in the mirror.
- Have a little faith. If you question his trust all the time, and he has never done anything untrustworthy than he is going to get sick and tired of trying to explain himself. Checking his phone and constantly questioning him is only going to lead to rejection if he has never done anything wrong. It can bring out insecurities. In which case refer to #4. (ps if you have to question a guy about his honesty, is that someone you really want to be with? Save yourself the headache).
- Don’t try to tie him down to quickly. If you have only been on a few dates (like two) and you haven’t talked about being exclusive however you are telling everyone you are boyfriend/girlfriend – you come off as a stage 5… see #5.
Good Luck in the dating scene!
I mean seriously, do I really need to continue… Dry shampoo is such a life saver. Honestly, it is one of the first purchases I make when get settled into our new homes abroad. No one likes washing their hair everyday (unless you do, then clearly your better person than me). I have specific favorites for specific reasons. I’m also not fond of anything that makes the texture of my hair feel dry. I still need to be able to run my fingers through my locks and have a fresh scent.
A couple of my favorites, in order:
- Batiste Dry Shampoo (Drugstore, Cheap, and Efficient)
- Living Proof Perfect Hair Day (Thanks Jen Aniston and your dreamy hair)
- Pantene Dry Shampoo (Similar to Batiste, Easy to Find, Cheap, and Smells Amaze)
- Nexxus Youth Renewal Rejuvenating Dry Shampoo (Who doesn’t like Nexxus)
- John Frieda Luxurious Volume Refresher (Thanks Target)
Truth be told, I always buy the Big Sexy Hair Volumizing Dry Shampoo in hopes that I will love it and every year (literally, every year) I waste my money ($20) and remember why I hate it so much – dries my scalp out like crazy!
“The Higher the Hair the Closer to God”
Lately I have been sooo into Podcasts. I find myself reaching for the remote control less often and gravitating more towards my iPad. When you are living abroad, it becomes difficult to keep up with the news events and, of course, daily celebrity news.
Having a degree in Communications with an Emphasis in Media and Tourism along with a few minors, I’ve decided to put my major to the test. Writing is by far my favorite thing to do, but I feel like you really have to know my personality in order to understand my sarcasm and blog pieces. I never take things in life too seriously. My family has been through some health scares and that has helped me realize that life can be short and it is important to embrace adventure.
Every time I think about radio, I will never forget a producer, I once worked for at ABC Sports, saying “he had a face for radio”, therefore he decided to stay behind the scenes. Hilarious. The line stuck with me.
Considering a Podcast? A girlfriend of mine (crazy how we met and how fast we became such close friends – I literally talk to her everyday and legit get concerned for her life if I haven’t heard from her longer than a day) and I are debating on this whole Podcast idea. We both are extremely outgoing and are VERY opinionated. Sarcastic – duh. We can agree to disagree on certain things but that’s what we enjoy most. We are brutally honest and have respect for each other. You always need a girl friend in your life like this – she wont tell you what you want to hear but what you need to hear.
The debate is up… Should we or shouldn’t we? The topics will be broad. Discussing anything from television shows, celebrities, personalities, every day life struggles, being a mom, not being a mom, dating problems, marriage issues, happily ever after vs reality, living abroad, must go vacations… featuring guests. The list goes on but maybe you are starting to get the idea.
Couple Podcasts I am currently enjoying:
- Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald (by far my favorite)
- Brandi Glanville Unfiltered (She is so drama and I love her drama)
- Straight Up with Stassi (pretty annoying she only talks about herself but I still listen)
- Serial (for obvious reasons, Season 1 is the tits)
- Secrets, Crimes, and Audiotape (not completely sold on this one yet)
- Anna Faris is Unqualified (subscribed but yet to listen to one pod)
- Bitch Sesh (hilarious)
- Embedded (News Stories revisited/elaborated on)
- Invisibilia (Psychology and Human behavior)
- The Young Turks (Politics)