The Dirty Truth About… Birth Control

Last month, I (we) made a decision to get off birth control. Truth is, nobody really tells you what happens to your body when you make the drastic decision to get off the pill.

After so many years of inconvenient trips to the pharmacy and prescriptions written from the only other man that gets up in there, besides your husband or for those of you that are Birth Control
single and in an exclusive relationship, you have decided to turn off that 9:55am alarm reminding you to pop that bad boy into your mouth. You think, “What a relief, hey?” no more trying to remember if you took your pill or not.

Let’s just say you are in for a whole new treat while your body is trying to get rid of that little monster you have been on for 9 years.

9 years is a long time!! I mean throwback to the time you turned 18 and had your period for the first time (or when ever you got your period… clearly I was a late bloomer but I blame Pop BCthat on being an athlete). Literally, I can’t even remember what it was like to be irregular anymore. My doctor explained to me the answer to an irregular period, acne, and being
really tiny was —- Birth Control (BC).

Playing on Club soccer teams and a travel team, it only seemed natural that BC would be the best solution while rocking those white Nike shorts on the field. I opted for Ortho Tri Cycline Lo. A low dosage based on my weight. Man O Man, as soon as the pill was in my system I started to grow those boobs I never thought I would have and wanted so badly. I quickly came to the conclusion BC pills were my friends.

Fast forward to 9 years later, and I am going hormone free. It is weird not carrying around a pack of pills and turning off that alarm … weird in a good way. I don’t even know who I am without the pills. My first thought is to Google “what to expect when getting off birth control.” I Google everything. I am the type of person that self diagnoses myself (thank you webMD). To save you some time, you get a bunch of mixed results; both positive and negative but every woman’s body is so different.

For the most part, the first couple weeks were uneventful. Dropped about 7 pounds of water weight (tits are still with me though so that’s a plus) and my libido is like HELLO. I feel like I am thinking clearly now (if that makes any sense). Sounds awesome right?! My period came around the same time as usual and lasted 4 days (no spotting in between, which I heard is extremely common). I thought to myself, “I guess the pill didn’t change my body too much.”

I was wrong about that.

Here I am experiencing my first REAL month of being off the pill. Acne. What a bitch! I have never in my life experienced acne like I am now. Not only is the acne irritating me but also the fact that my eczema is back and in full force. The acne on my chin isn’t the worst of it — It’s the acne and eczema on my back and (believe it or not) my chest… What the Stress BChell is this? I immediately hit up my buddy Google. Go figure, I am not the only woman in this world experiencing this madness. I would like to give you some more positive news, like my personality is fabulous (even though I believe I am always in a good mood on or off the pill — my husband seems to disagree) BUT the negatives have outweighed the positive (for me) so far.

It has been an adjustment but I am working through this stage of my life and I know it can only go up from here. I am interested to discover how my body functions and continues to change now that I am completely off the pill. For now, birth control and I are no longer friends due to all the shit he is putting me through. I’m guessing motherhood will be a whole new blog post once we have children. Stay tuned.

On the plus side, for those of you ladies still on the pill – how cool is it that some insurance companies are no longer making you pay an arm and a leg for birth control because the Affordable Care Act was passed. In the meantime, enjoy your little friend birth control while you are still taking him… when you decide to part ways, you may come to realize the little bitch may not be so loyal after all. In the future, I am looking forward to a birth control for men hitting the market. Good luck ladies!

– The Babe Report

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