We have all seen the movie He’s Just Not That Into You… they nailed it when it comes to women’s reactions and emotions as we dance around the dating scene. We get together with our girlfriends and gossip about what he said/she said. Adding up all the details and coming up with the conclusion that this man (or woman) you are dating has completely fallen head over heals for you.
I have girlfriends that never been single, I have girlfriends that are single by choice, some that date around, others that want to marry for money, and some that are constantly rejecting men while others find the dating scene a nightmare and can’t keep a man around for a second date. I mean it’s a wide spectrum.
Many women struggle with rejection on a frequent base (or some men just simply lose interest) – there is nothing wrong with this, however if any of these scenarios sound like something you are regularly experiencing… keep reading!
Common Mistakes Women Make Leading to Rejection:
- It takes time but you need to get out there. If you have been rejected a lot then you’ve probably developed a fear of rejection – which can lead to avoiding the dating scene all together. Don’t give up. I listen to many podcasts… one girl specifically made the decision to say “yes” to things as opposed to “no” leading her to some amazing adventures. Let me just say, “Mr.Right” isn’t going to surprisingly knock on your front door and sweep you off your feet.
- Just because you have been rejected, doesn’t mean your undesirable. Let rejection go. If you hold on to the mentality of always being rejected then you will not even be able to give yourself the opportunity to move forward.
- Be positive when it comes to dating. Maybe you were dumped, cheated on, stood up, or told you weren’t good enough but you cannot let this define you. You have to be positive in order to attract positivity.
- You have low self-esteem. Being rejected can create a low self-esteem, HOWEVER maybe you are being rejected because of your low self-esteem. No one wants to date someone that carries around insecurities and people definitely don’t want to hear you complain about them constantly. You have to love yourself before anyone else can love you. Men are drawn to women that are confident (not overly). Learn to love yourself and build your confidence!
- Don’t be a Stage 5 Clinger. One of my girlfriends is absolutely gorgeous and an honest catch, unfortunately she struggles with moving too fast (no not in sac). One date, and she is texting him non-stop… it’s like she falls in love instantly and that alone can make a man panic and run. Try not to come off too needy. Let him reach out to you. Let him want you. The harder you play to get – the harder they will try. And do NOT, I repeat do not, have sex right away. Get to know the person. (When I was younger my father would make me listen to Tom Leykis and told me all men think like him). This for sure taught me how men think (not all men but many). Check out his podcast to get a better idea.
- Coming off too independent. Some women want a man but never give themselves the opportunity to jump into the dating scene because they are too busy with other things (aka work and life). There is nothing wrong with this, but don’t let it interfere with meeting someone… and when you’re on a date, try not bringing up how i.n.d.e.p.e.n.d.e.n.t. you are and not needing a man to make you happy. That gets old real quick. Let him treat you. Shivery is not dead.
- Have an appetite. No one wants to go on dates with another person who doesn’t eat. That can be extremely uncomfortable. Trust me on this. You don’t have to drink (booze that is) but you have to eat.
- Interested in someone who is not interested? Don’t force something. If he is not interested than he is simply not interested. Move along. Don’t let this affect you.
- Maybe he is not over his ex? Maybe he just got out of a relationship and isn’t looking to jump back into another one so quickly… Maybe you should think twice about dating this person! (Oh and ladies if he is married and reaching out – save yourself from a future rejection).
- Know Your Value. Simple as that.
- Don’t come across too masculine. Guys enjoy girls that aren’t afraid to get dirty and play sports BUT don’t take that to another level and start talking like buddies. You can be buds but don’t go overboard or else you will find yourself stuck in the friend zone.
- You can change a man’s wardrobe but you cannot change him. Once you start pushing too hard, he is going to be running for the door leading to rejection. The right guy will come along just be patient.
- Don’t forget to appreciate the little things. Men try (not all men – don’t get it twisted) so when they do something nice for you be grateful. If not, your lack of appreciation can get old.
- Don’t be drama. Avoid drama. Who wants to date someone full of drama?! At some point, you have to take a look in the mirror.
- Have a little faith. If you question his trust all the time, and he has never done anything untrustworthy than he is going to get sick and tired of trying to explain himself. Checking his phone and constantly questioning him is only going to lead to rejection if he has never done anything wrong. It can bring out insecurities. In which case refer to #4. (ps if you have to question a guy about his honesty, is that someone you really want to be with? Save yourself the headache).
- Don’t try to tie him down to quickly. If you have only been on a few dates (like two) and you haven’t talked about being exclusive however you are telling everyone you are boyfriend/girlfriend – you come off as a stage 5… see #5.
Good Luck in the dating scene!